Jing Yidan published a book about his mother ‘s life and death, retired for five years and used more time to record
Jing Yidan, who once hosted many programs such as CCTV’s “Focus Interview” and “Moving China”, accompanied several generations of viewers on the screen.In May 2015, she officially retired from CCTV. After that, Jing Yidan also experienced the reality that all middle-aged and elderly people must face: slowly growing old, parents have grown old, years of age directly “old, sick, dead”Push it to the front.On April 27, 2019, Jing Yidan ‘s 90-year-old mother died of dialysis in Sanya, and this day happened to be Jing Yidan ‘s 64th birthday. “The day 64 years ago, the person who gave me life was 64 years later.On this day, say goodbye to life.On April 27, 2020, on the first anniversary of his mother’s death, Jing Yidan’s new book “Moonlight Before Bed: Seeing off for Dear Mother” was officially published.She had a conversation with her mother by writing a book.”When my mother was there, I saw the sunset; when my mother was away, I saw the moonlight at a glance.In the book cover of “Moon Moonlight Before Bed: Seeing off for Dear Mother”, Jing Yidan recalled the time with his mother.She said that the process of bidding farewell to her mother is also the process of knowing life. “Knowing yourself, knowing the blood, and time, it seems that you have lost more understanding and cherished the life before you.”Mother’s death day is her birthday. In the past year, Jing Yidan has always been in deep pain.The day of my mother’s death is also Jing Yidan’s 64th birthday.Birthdays always pass, even if Jing Yidan doesn’t want to, her relatives and friends will habitually send her blessings. She doesn’t want the blessings to appear on such days.April 22 is her husband’s birthday, Jing Yidan decided to have two people together.Relatives and friends say that they will have a Lunar Birthday in the future. Some of these consolations are particularly inspiring to Jing Yidan-Li Xiaomeng said, “64 years ago, you were separated from your mother, and 64 years later, you were separated from your mother again.”Slowly, Jing Yidan stopped tangling.On April 27, it became a day full of life for her. It was no longer a birthday celebration but also a mourning for her mother, but a day to think about life.She said, just like this book, it wrote about “yesterday”, but it was written for “tomorrow”, “when we face tomorrow, when we face the future, no matter what ageDuan, will meet the topic of life process, so in the face of time, life, and tomorrow, we better start thinking about life from now on.”Jing Yidan and his mother.Origin-Write it down because mom likes to record October 2017, Jing Yidan’s mother was diagnosed with cancer.Jing Yidan’s first reaction was not to tell her, only siblings knew.Later, when my mother asked me, when the children felt that they had to face this matter head-on, Jing Yidan told her.At this time, Jing Yidan’s daughter recommended that she watch the movie “Don’t Tell Her”, “The story in the movie is very familiar.How many people have experienced such a thing, this practice is the tradition of generation after generation of Chinese families, that is, choose not to tell the patient first.But the concept of the younger generation is different.”Jing Yidan said that this kind of thing varies from person to person,” it depends on people’s tolerance, character, illness, and specific state of the family, and then decides when to tell the truth.”After her mother became ill, Jing Yidan accompanied her next to the hospital bed, which was the maximum transfer of her mother after working, and also the process of slowly saying goodbye to her mother.This period of time was accompanied by worries and sorrows by the bed, confusion and entanglement brought by the ups and downs of the illness, and at the same time left the last warmth of the mother and the children.Jing Yidan’s mother is a person who loves to record and likes to keep and share. He used to record every journey of himself and his family with letters, words and images.She once recorded the actual situation of the family’s WeChat communication in words from December 6, 2012 to January 6, 2013.Jing Yidan was still a little puzzled about this, so why do you remember this?A few years later, when the huge amount of information on WeChat had already drowned out the original memory, she re-read this month ‘s WeChat group text records, and she felt how reliable the records in black and white were, and she understood the mother ‘s relationship with family.Cherish.So, when my mother said to her on the hospital bed: “You write this paragraph, I can’t write it.”Jing Yidan decided to help her mother record this period of time.”However, Jing Yidan really started to write after her mother died, and the writing process was intermittent and could not be written several times.Sometimes when she looked up, she would be in a trance, not knowing when and where she was, always looking back at the most painful, “It hurts to write, and it hurts not to write, but I ca n’t fail my mother to trust my prescription. IAfter going through such a special stage of life, there are a lot of knowledge and feelings about life and death, which should be recorded.”Sue suicide is too painful to write. Jing Yidan said that at this time her mother’s inheritance is working,” Mother is a particularly tough woman. I can stick to it because of the kind she gave me.Heredity.[About her]”Mum is my most loyal audience.” At the age of thirty, looking at his face that was no longer young in the mirror, Jing Yidan sighed: Alas, I have wrinkles.Mother stood behind her and said, “Yi Dan, there is little beauty, there is always beauty.”Jing Yidan was not young when he was a TV presenter. Although he didn’t turn this line into a career as a transsexual youth, he couldn’t help but feel awkward in the face of wrinkles and white hair.”Mother’s words, let her appoint a moderator the most important is the internal temperament and practice.Jing Yidan said that her mother is her most loyal audience. In addition to watching her daughter’s shows, she will also watch the shows of her daughter’s colleagues.Coming soon while watching the show, often in a word.Once, my mother watched “Moving China” hosted by her and said that your hosting today I did not pick out the fault. Jing Yidan thought that this was the biggest praise to her.Another time, my mother said that you are doing very well today, but it is not better than before. She feels that her mother has said something completely.After my mother became ill, as long as she had strength, she would still watch “Moving China” hosted by Jing Yidan. “In the last year, my mother only fell asleep after watching for a few times. I was very sad to sit in the ward.Because a pair of eyes in front of the screen are missing.”” My mother’s departure made me face up to the age. “In the battle for a long and long time, Jing Yidan always felt that his mother was young, powerful, and a strong man.When her mother retired, Jing Yidan almost felt no emotion, because her mother was immediately rehired and continued to work for another 7 years, but only transferred from the Public Security Department of the Public Security Department to the traffic management department, so Jing Yidan was always used to her mother going out in the morning, The day I returned at night.In the last few years of her mother’s life, when she often reminded herself that she was “old,” Jing Yidan noticed that her mother was already linked to the word “aged”.At the mother’s 80th birthday party, the children put on special T-shirts and put them together, “80 is so good!””A few big letters.My mother looked more and more energetic after reading it.Jing Yidan thought, if he is 80 years old, how good it would be!”Mom is a very optimistic person with a clear mind. I have felt that since she was a child, she is a very spiritual person, condensed with the whole family, even in her old age.”Moving towards an elderly mother, even though her physical strength is reduced, she still strives to maintain her spirit.Jing Yidan said that after he passed middle age, he became more and more aware of his mother’s influence on her, and the angle of observing her mother also changed. She used her as a model to see how her mother became old and how to live.”If I walked towards dusk step by step like my mother, it would be the perfect old age.”When Jing Yidan was 50 years old, her mother wrote to her: 50 years old, it is a good time-30 years old is too young, 70 years old is too old, 50 years old has rich experience and rich experience, and the gradual path will be smoother and wider.How did you grow up?How to grow old when you grow up?Mum would like to tell the children all life experiences.”It’s true that when I grow old, it’s after my mother leaves.”Jing Yidan said,” Mom is here, she is in the sunset.I see her, the background is the gorgeous sunset, the sun will not set so fast.Mom is gone, I am standing in the sunset.Here, I saw the night at a glance, saw the moonlight, and saw the end of life.”Talk”: Sauna Night Net: What is your mother’s biggest influence on you?Jing Yidan: My mother’s biggest influence on me is her attitude towards life. She is a particularly positive person with a clear mind and a sense of direction.Some of my mother ‘s usual habits also affect me. My mother likes to record. She will keep a lot of things that are special to her. Sometimes she says some small pieces of paper, a calendar, children ‘s drawings, and all the words she originally wrote.Not to mention the letters written by her family, she kept them all.Under the influence of my mother, I am also a habitual record person.It seems that I am sorry for the time without recording.This kind of recording has become a habit and a consciousness. Some of the books I wrote, especially the few books I wrote after retirement, are recorded in color.Sauna Night Net: I must be in a low mood with my mother’s bed. How do I adjust my mood?Jing Yidan: When my mother was hospitalized, a psychologist came.The doctor looked at her mother on the bed and was very relieved because my mother was very optimistic.The doctor looked at us again and said that you must be good and you cannot turn yourself into a patient.Only if we maintain a normal life will our mother feel better.So inspired by this psychologist, we also try to keep ourselves in a calm mood, so that our life rhythm will not be out of balance or unbalanced.If we ourselves become patients, how can we take care of our mother?Sauna Nightnet: Is the topic “dead” taboo in your home?Do grandchildren mention this topic?Jing Yidan: We are a big family of four generations. After the death of my mother, I have a profound impact on everyone, including my sister ‘s granddaughter Wenwen, who is the youngest child in the family.The child understands death.Wenwen ‘s parents and dad did a very good job. They let the child behave to the people who passed away. The child ‘s heart was just sadness and sorrow, and he also knew about life and death.In many families, the word “death” is a taboo word, but can it be said to children?Especially children, they will have a faint fear of “death”.Was n’t this the same when we were young, and we thought about it later, what would happen if Mom and Dad were gone?We have a lot to miss in life lessons from childhood.So I think it is possible to talk about life and death with the child at the right time and in the right size.Sauna Night Net: Is there any difference between the way your mother educates you, and the way you educate your daughter and the third generation of your children?Jing Yidan: My mother is a strict mother. There is no doubt about her speech. I have a lot of room for my daughter. The most common thing I say is “you decide.”I did n’t make a lot of mistakes when I was a kid. Even if I made a mistake, my mother did n’t have to scold. As soon as she saw me, I would immediately admit it, because my mother ‘s eyes were very sharp, With clear eyes.Sauna Night Net: Now, when I think about my time with my mother, what’s the regret?Jing Yidan: When my mother was not seriously ill, it would be better to accompany her more.Companionship is not a visit, but companionship is all morning and evening, in a variety of trivialities, let our loved ones feel that you are around.For loved ones in serious illnesses, especially those serious illnesses that have no cure, I feel that companionship is medicine, and it is an irreplaceable medicine.Jing Yidan said that the days after retirement passed quickly.Sauna Night Net: How do you arrange your retirement days and what do you do every day?Jing Yidan: I have been retired for five years, and my life is very fast.There are some large-scale special programs that I continue to host, and there are some training seminars to host the business.In the past five years, I have written four books. After retirement, I used a lot of energy to record. Before working, I used a microphone and a lens to record, and the rest became a written record.I have also been in contact with my old colleagues. Sometimes I forget that I have retired. When I see them doing a program, I feel like I am in it.Sauna Night Net: Recently, I watched you go live on Douyin, do you have any special feelings?Jing Yidan: At the “World Book Day” event, I went to the live broadcast of Douyin and felt familiar and fresh.When I was doing the live broadcast for the first time, I was in front of someone. In the second time, I probably knew that there were many young netizens, and I felt very relaxed.Sauna, Ye Wang Editor Liu Dongni proofread by Zhao Lin Press